Kahmens Birth Vision

Written a month before her baby is due

 

It’s a quiet summer afternoon, the air is lazy but the breeze is cool...
I’m feeling content yet withdrawn, just wanting to sit in my own thoughts – my own wonderland. Content to sit on the grass and stare endlessly at the little world of cut grass, old grass, dry grass, new grass, ants and leaves... all flickering in the wind beneath my feet.
Time is passing, but there is no sense of what time it actually is.. I don’t really care. I just feel like I’m floating along, present to the moment.. feeling the warmth of summer on my skin.

Feeling heavy, my back is aching and feeling heavy in my pelvis and even my vagina and bottom. So I take a shower to cool down. As I relieve and clean myself I notice a show... feeling the pinky mucous between my fingers.. that slight smell of birth.

The feeling is.. “ahhh hello.. (I smile).. there you are (internal giggles).. so that’s what it looks like” :o)

I enjoy my shower, touching and massaging my body, soft and smooth, knowing that this is not the body of a pregnant woman any more... But the body of a birthing mother. I’m teary, as the adrenalin starts to kick in... OK – it’s time to share the news.

I let Joe know to make his way home from work and I call Anna and Kylie.

I’m calm and gentle, I feel like I need to be alone for a little while – just me and the bubba.
I feel like I want to prepare food, clean or start getting the birth space ready and prepared. But I surrender and go lay down, everything is perfect as it is and my support will be here when the time is perfect. I just need to relax now, go within. Just me. Just on my own. I trust....

I’m not sure how my birth space is prepared, it just is. I am grateful to myself that I have let go – trying to perfect my environment and do everything on my own. I just allow myself to be supported.

Joe’s parents have gone and the house is still. I light my blessing candles and sink into the space with my gorgeous man.

I feel his excitement, so filled to the brim with love and curiosity. He’s not my rock.. He is my shining beacon of LIGHT!

So in love, I feel his tenderness. His divine hands touching my body, his forehead to mine.. Soft and tender.. I see his beautiful blue eyes loving and worshiping me – my body – our baby... And the more love I FEEL, the more I let my heart open and let it pour. The more intense the expansion of my body.

I spiral, dance and move.. but so relaxed. So deep now. I want to be still... I’m already here and I didn’t even need to try.

I feel Anna’s touch, her strong and devoted presence... her permission takes me deeper, my body melts. Her love and devotion of me let’s me be who I am. I shine.. It’s ok to be me...
Kylie feels smal. Like a fairy. I feel her like this cool tickle on my flushed cheek, a sweet butterfly kiss that reassures and relaxes my whole body. Like the kiss my mum would give me when she thought I was sleeping, that kiss that lets you know you are safe to fall asleep – I’m here. I’m not sure where she is, but that lil fairy swoops in and out – like a gentle sprinkle of fairy dust on my furrowed brow.... cooling my hot and sweaty forehead.  

I feel like I have the tri factor – my fortress of WARMTH STRENGTH and SWEETNESS
The perfect recipe for birth.

It’s quiet... So still... I feel like I’m all on my own but a part of/ inside of/ connected to everything. Everything and nothing at the same time.

Oneness.

Source.

It feels so big but so small.

The presence of the baby is growing so strong now, I feel him/her coming.. he/she is coming... OK baby – I feel you.. It’s safe...

I feel warm and gentle, soft.. I touch myself and talk to my baby.

It’s so quiet... I feel you baby. I feel your head bulging in my vagina.. my perineum soft and stretching. It’s warm and slippery wet... like moulding clay.. I feel your head in my hands.
Slowly slowly baby, I’m anxious to meet you too. Let’s take our time, it feels so good to finally feel you in my hands.

More and more I feel you, your sweet and slippery skin on my fingertips as you slide effortlessly out of my vagina with ease and grace.

It’s still so quiet... so still.. Daddy and I gaze at you in the water... I meet your starry eyes... I greet you and then slowly lift you from one universe into another. I feel you on my chest, my skin, my heart, for the very first time. I just want to hold you forever and never let you go.

My baby... My love.... You are here...

We are so present, conscious and aware.

I am so in love... We are all so in love.. . the air is so sweet it’s intoxicating.
The placenta is born – effortlessly.. without even a thought. I am present. I am a mother. I am here.
MY FAMILY... MY WORLD... I AM WHOLE....